First SL hours!

Well.. I definitely never want to go to job corps.
- their computer systems are lacking, and from the perspectives of the people there its really hard. - Theres a lot of drama - theres Very little free time, cleaning in mandatory, and when one person is miss-behaving everyone is punished.
- Apparently there are a lot of fights between students and the particular student I spoke with feels like there opinions and points of view are worthless. This student doesn't feel they can engage in discussion.  When asked if the student was happy they were there it seemed like it was difficult to say Semi- happy. Apparently sleep for this student is hard to come buy as roommates are loud and intrusive at night. Sleeping 5 to a room it definitely sounds unpleasant.
my observations are that - the counselor/ instructor seems to be very condescending and it does show. The student definitely looks angry, frustrated, tired and unhappy.
The student also mentioned that they feel there is a lot of favoritism, and has been held back due to changes in curriculum.
- the student compares it with high school - but MUCH worse.

- ugh

- not looking forward to this Service learning Shit. I don't want to give a second of my time to someone else. 0 you know time is the most precious thing in the world - and I need it to GTFO of Boise. I hate it here. And I'm afraid all of my essays are going to be severely negative.

I see this everywere

- I see so many problems every where that can be solved simply with communication. Take my friends Chris and Aaron -  there Are sooo many issues going on that can be solved with some simple and open communication but they just shut down. How do I help them open these passageways? Maybe my time with the sl program will help me learn to do this.

love!!!

haha its pathetic how easily someone elses love can put me in a great mood.
just getting a nice dose of love and apreciation and it makes me meltate!

action solves problems

- well... When life gives you lemons - and you can't through them in lifes face then u gotta makle something with em - or just wait while they rot.
And while I like strawberys more.. a good Lemon bar can really hit the spot.
So
while I have this rage i guess I will just have to do my best to give it direction. I can't temper it... but I can guide it ... maybe. And who knows maybe having an essay tha isint about helping my fellow man will be .. unique.

I dunno. but I DO know that the man (in my case woman) who says they can.. and the one that says they can't are both right.

-des

Screw up

A screw up
Thats how I feel
I don't understand whats wrong with me I JUST KEEP making bad decision after bad decision. - I'm So angry at the world and I'm SOOO angry at myself. I don't know how I could even possibly start writing this essay in a way that just doesnt imbue the essance of rage.
Every tiny I try it just comes out as a giant Fuck you!!!! to everything. But I hve to get it done- its going to be late as it is :(
i'm lazy... a procrastinator... and every amazing oppertunity that comes along.. I fuck it up. I turn Everything in to shit.
How can I possibly write Anything thats - hopeful moving or useful when All I feel is hatred?

refelection - angle idea

needed to write this down before I forget.

- Why Should we care about programs like Job corps? this has been the main combative energy from this class. Why on Earth should we care about people who are too lazy, and too unmotivated to care wethor they live in a shoe bx or a reputable apartment?  After all everyone in these programs is either From prison or going TO priso and since our taxes pay for both Why not just send them to jail? Its where they belong right?

Mostly WRONG.

The reason why we should care is Ironically the same reason why we shouldn't. Because we ALL have our OWN responsibilitites for our OWN lives. Not to be lofing on the back of the government or others. Thats exactlywhat this program is fixing. The people in Job corps had to be screened.. to be tested to see if they were worthy. - That means the people there made the descision to go. They WANT to be there. I had previously imagined a half way house - a place where P.O. officors drop of newly freed criminals and twitttled their thumbs before picking them up for a nother crime. A place where drug addicts go for a hot meal a warm bed.. a sob story about temptation, only to be consistantly taken care of when they consistantly  screw up again.

But thats not who these people are. These are the people that WERE FAILEd BY the goovernment in the first place. they were allowed to get through school with little to no actual education.. these are the people who instead of Sobing and creating the pooor me attitue are working and striving to create a better life. These are the people Who ARE  attempting to care about their OWN lives.

But guess what... you can't learn to read over night, you cant opperate a metal saw withoput experiance, and you can't learn how to effectivly comunicate unless you start with a safe place, people, .. and then comunicate.
Thats what this program provides. It is the bulding blocks to a healthy independent and productive member of our society.

We cant afford to let the comunity brand them as lazy, habbitual criminals. Because these are the people who started with nothing and who are fighting for their futures. These .. in all essence of the word are our children. The ones that fell through the current gaps and cracks of our community.. of our humanity in the first place.

link to blog-

Well I guess if I'm going to have this public there is a chance that other people will read this lol.
So-
Hi world!

lol umm here the link to my groups class blog on Job Corps. its the finished work - to say. So maybe the combination of thoughts before, durring, and after an assignment - coupled with the actual products of those thoughts- might paint a clearer picture.
- my work is posted by me and will say
"posted by Destiny" underneith it. The other postings are my group members.

http://englishgroup-jobcor.blogspot.com/

hopefully that will work.

so far

well I had my first orientation - and I need to start scheduling times.. I havent been on the ball with that and I need to.
I'm a little worried.. I was thinking the transportation wouldn't be an issue with the bus - but since I found out where it is - I'm a little worried. I don't think the bus can handle it. So trying to catch rides and coordinate w other group members is going to have to do it.
- my reflection esssay is due soon.
I'm worried about it too.
I just.. i don't know how to present the info .. or what to say/ do.. I dunno.
I'm just SO exhausted my brain won't work.

Who cares?

- So.. I just got .. kinda some news. -
theres been a lot of "friends" lately that I've kinda decided really arn't great friends. and I've stopped trying to chat w them.

but uh.. this one kinda takes the cake.
I've got .. an out side source that has no reason to hurt me who.. uu.. just kinda ripped a whole where my heart was. I guess... I cared more about a certain male than I had thought I did.

So... right now as I'm ready to transcribe my second extended bibliography about education and jobs and jobs and education relates to job corps - I can't help but think..
Who the Fuck cares!?
Why on earth should I be spending the time out of my life trying to think about other ppl?

I mean.. we are ALL responsible for our OWN lives.
I dunno .. I'm sure once the .. initial impact cleares I'll be thinking a bit more mercifully but right now ... All I want is .. for everything to stop. I want ... the time to stop ticking... I want this feeling to stop.. I want my heart to stop beating.
\but .. thats not how life works. - it continues it grows it moves forward .. and the only way to not be crushed by it is to move forwards with it. All  be it.. probably more bitter and jaded than before. but alive.
- is life worth living with out love?
( not like I'm in a suicidal moment or anything. I think its a valuable and worthy question. - if u knew u were going to go through life w no passion... no love... just... wrk and breath and toil. would it be worth anything?)