Who cares?

- So.. I just got .. kinda some news. -
theres been a lot of "friends" lately that I've kinda decided really arn't great friends. and I've stopped trying to chat w them.

but uh.. this one kinda takes the cake.
I've got .. an out side source that has no reason to hurt me who.. uu.. just kinda ripped a whole where my heart was. I guess... I cared more about a certain male than I had thought I did.

So... right now as I'm ready to transcribe my second extended bibliography about education and jobs and jobs and education relates to job corps - I can't help but think..
Who the Fuck cares!?
Why on earth should I be spending the time out of my life trying to think about other ppl?

I mean.. we are ALL responsible for our OWN lives.
I dunno .. I'm sure once the .. initial impact cleares I'll be thinking a bit more mercifully but right now ... All I want is .. for everything to stop. I want ... the time to stop ticking... I want this feeling to stop.. I want my heart to stop beating.
\but .. thats not how life works. - it continues it grows it moves forward .. and the only way to not be crushed by it is to move forwards with it. All  be it.. probably more bitter and jaded than before. but alive.
- is life worth living with out love?
( not like I'm in a suicidal moment or anything. I think its a valuable and worthy question. - if u knew u were going to go through life w no passion... no love... just... wrk and breath and toil. would it be worth anything?)